Today, I had the chance to listen to a podcast by Sheikh Saeed Warsama, discussing an important topic: Why we need to carefully choose who surrounds us. One of the quotes that caught my attention was: "Show me your friends, and I will show you where you're going to be in ten years."
Have you ever thought that who we are today is a reflection of the people we spent time with over the past few years?
From a psychological perspective, there's a concept known as the Proximity Effect. In other words, our habits combined with the habits of our friends create a habit circle. The more time we spend observing, listening to, and interacting with certain people, the more we begin to reflect who they are.
It’s essential to choose your circle of friends wisely. Not everyone deserves your presence and energy. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: "A person is upon the religion of his friend, so let one of you look at whom he befriends." (Hadith narrated by Abu Dawud).
How do you choose your friends? First, it starts with pure intention, and sincerely ask Allah for guidance. But it all begins with ourselves. Strive to become a servant who obeys Allah and His Messenger. Work on improving your character and doing good to others. Acknowledge your weaknesses and never stop striving to be someone who brings benefit to others.Believe this: When you correct your intention and aim to become a better version of yourself, Allah will change your entire circle of friends. It doesn’t mean you become enemies with others, but Allah will bring good people into your life and distance you from those who aren't suitable for you.
Sometimes, Allah reduces your circle because He heard conversations you didn’t.
As we grow older, we should become more discerning about whom we spend our time with. We shouldn’t remain in circles full of mockery, gossip, or unnecessary drama. Growing older means having the courage to walk away from toxic relationships.
In the Quran, Surah Al-Furqan verses 27-29, Allah describes the regret of a person who took a friend that led him astray. It’s better to have a small number of true friends who genuinely care for us and are willing to correct our mistakes out of love, rather than be surrounded by many who bring no benefit.This small circle of friends is what we should cherish the most. They are people who have clear life goals that align with ours.
However, expand your acquaintances for the purpose of networking or other needs. But when it comes to everyday life, a few high-quality friends are enough. Personally, I am now more selective about what I read and watch, especially on social media. Everything we follow influences our thinking. So, be cautious about whom you associate with and whom you follow. If you're easily influenced, you'll quickly take on the mindset of those around you.
Finally, strive each day to improve ourselves. As you begin to change for the better, you’ll notice changes in those around you. You’ll see who truly stays by your side and who no longer fits in your life.Remember, some people will judge you for changing, but others will celebrate your growth. Choose your circle wisely and be mindful of who you let into it, because not everyone deserves to be a part of your life.
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