14 Days Post-Op: A Journey of Gratitude and Growth

It’s been 14 days since my surgery, and while the doctor advised me to take it easy for a few more months, I couldn’t ignore the restless energy bubbling inside me. So, here I am, slowly easing back into my routine. I’ve returned to the clinic, started cooking meals again, and even taken up some light exercise. It’s nothing too strenuous, but just enough to make my heart feel alive again.

The truth is, I feel an overwhelming sense of happiness right now. It’s a kind of contentment that goes beyond the physical, a joy that stems from deep within. Despite the hurdles with my health, I feel incredibly blessed. Each day is a reminder of how much Allah has given me, and I find myself reflecting more on life, love, and the little things that make it all worthwhile.

This experience has taught me so much. I’m learning to listen more closely to the whispers of my soul, to understand what truly makes my heart happy. I’ve realized that life’s greatest successes don’t always come from grand gestures or monumental achievements, but from the quiet, everyday moments where we give our best to the people we love.

I am so grateful for the chance to continue showing up for my husband, my parents, and my children. They’ve been my rock throughout this journey, and now more than ever, I feel a renewed sense of purpose to give them my very best. My extended family, my team at work, and my patients are also a huge part of this journey. They inspire me every day to push through challenges and find strength I never knew I had.

Life may throw obstacles our way, but it’s in those moments of struggle that we grow the most. I’ve learned that gratitude isn’t just about being thankful when everything is perfect, but also when life is messy and complicated. Through it all, I’m choosing to embrace the beauty of every challenge, knowing that each step I take—no matter how small—is a step toward becoming the best version of myself.

Who says doctors don't get sick?

Being a doctor does not make us immune to illness. Like everyone else, I am a human and not exempt from life's challenges, including sickness. In just a few days, I will be undergoing major surgery for my health issue. This experience has given me time to reflect on my life, my relationships, and the impact I’ve had on the people around me.

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone in my life who may have felt hurt, disappointed, or angry because of me. Please know that it was never my intention to cause any pain. As I head into surgery, I pray that there are no complications and that everything goes smoothly. InshaAllah, I hope to come out of this even stronger, so I can continue to fulfill my roles as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and doctor with all my heart.

To my Dearest Husband,

As I prepare to undergo surgery, I want you to know how deeply I love and appreciate you. You have been my rock, my partner, and my greatest source of strength. You’ve stood by me through every challenge, and your love has always been a light in my life, especially when I needed it most. If anything should happen, please know that you have filled my life with happiness, and I am forever grateful for the memories we’ve created together. But, InshaAllah, everything will go well, and I will come back to you, stronger than before. I am looking forward to more years together, building our family and growing old by each other's side. Thank you for being the wonderful husband and father that you are. I love you more than words can express.

To My Dearest Mirza, Mifzal, and Marissa,

You are the greatest treasures of my life. My love for each of you is beyond what words can ever describe. I love you all more than I love myself, and I would do anything to ensure your happiness and well-being. As I go into surgery, I want you to know that I will always be with you, no matter what happens. InshaAllah, I will come out of this surgery healthy, so I can continue to watch you grow, achieve your dreams, and one day have families of your own. My hope is to be there to witness every beautiful moment of your lives, and I want you to know how proud I am of each of you. Please always take care of each other, and love each other unconditionally. You are each other’s strongest allies, and nothing in this world is more important than family.

To My Dearest Parents,

There are no words that can fully express how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. You raised me with love, patience, and wisdom, and I am who I am today because of you. As I face this surgery, I reflect on all the lessons you’ve taught me and the sacrifices you’ve made. I carry those lessons with me every day. If anything happens, please know that I have lived a full and happy life, thanks to you both. InshaAllah, I will come out of this stronger, so I can continue to make you proud and repay the love you’ve given me. Thank you for being my guiding lights.

To My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Growing up with you has been one of the greatest joys of my life. You have been my first friends, my protectors, and my lifelong companions. As I go into surgery, I want to remind you how much I love each of you. InshaAllah, I will come out of this healthy and strong, but if anything happens, know that my love for you will never fade. Take care of one another and continue to share the bond that we have built over the years. I am so grateful to have you as my siblings, and I will always cherish the moments we’ve shared. Thank you for your love and support throughout my life.

As I prepare for this surgery, I am filled with hope and faith. Life is full of uncertainties, but I choose to focus on the love and blessings that surround me. This journey has reminded me that even in difficult times, we must remain strong and trust in Allah's plan.

To everyone reading this, please keep me in your prayers. I believe that with strength, faith, and the support of my loved ones, I will overcome this challenge and continue living the life that I cherish so much. No matter what happens, I am grateful for every moment I have been given. And I look forward to waking up to the smiles of my children, the warmth of my husband's embrace, and the continued support of my family and friends. InshaAllah, I will be back, stronger and more determined than ever to face whatever comes next.

With love and gratitude,

Keyra Halim

Fate and Love: A Reflection on My Journey

A good friend once told me that our destiny, including our life partner, was written by Allah 50,000 years ago. I’m not sure if this is accurate, but it’s something I’ve pondered. During my housemanship, I worked as a junior doctor at a hospital in Perlis. At that time, I thought that once I completed my housemanship, I might try to win back my ex-boyfriend and take things seriously since the most stressful phase of my career would soon be over.

Even though we had broken up, I hadn’t moved on completely because he was my first love, ever since high school. Despite meeting a few male friends after our breakup, none felt serious enough because, in my heart, I still believed we were meant to be. During my housemanship, I became close with two younger male doctors, but they were actually a couple. Both of them were gay, so there was no romantic connection for me. To be honest, I’ve always had more male friends than female ones.

There were even a couple of colleagues who proposed marriage, but I turned them down. The housemanship years were incredibly exhausting—by 5 a.m., I had to be at the hospital, and I wouldn’t get home until late at night. During the 'tagging' period, I wouldn’t return home until 10 or 11 p.m., and the next day, I had to be back by 5 a.m. It was relentless.

There was one particular day, during my paediatric rotation, when I felt incredibly overwhelmed. I was only a few months away from finishing my housemanship, but the stress was mounting. In a moment of weakness, I called my ex-boyfriend. It was late 2013, and I remember feeling desperate to reconcile. But he rejected me. I cried, begging him to take me back, but it was useless. I realized then that he had moved on, likely finding someone else.

I felt heartbroken—overwhelmed by both work stress and the pain of rejection. I cried all day, not knowing how to surrender to fate or accept it. A few months later, I reached out to him again on Skype. Can you guess what happened? He told me he was getting married and sent me his wedding invitation card. My heart shattered into a million pieces, and I cried like never before. But, being my stubborn, prideful self, I acted as though everything was fine. I responded casually, pretending that I wasn’t hurting inside.

That was Shakirah—stubborn and proud to a fault. But that was my younger self. Eventually, I came to terms with the situation and accepted my fate.

As for how I met my husband, well, it was quite unexpected. He was a university friend of my brother’s, and one day, during Hari Raya, he visited my house with his parents. His mother took a liking to me, and that’s how our relationship began. They proposed soon after. Initially, I accepted the proposal partly out of a sense of vengeance and hurt—still angry that my ex had moved on and married before me. If I recall correctly, they visited during Raya in July 2014, and we got married in October 2014. Things moved quickly. Funny, isn’t it?

Bersedia Sebelum Bersama

Saya nak cerita pula bagaimana dari kekecewaan, saya boleh bertemu dengan suami saya. Tapi ini, next next post ok? To my children, blog ni khas utk korang bertiga. Mama tak perlukan orang lain untuk membaca. Tapi ni semua kisah hidup Mama yang boleh kalian tahu dan ambil sebagai pedoman. Mama yakin, kesilapan akan jadikan pedoman hidup paling bagus dan apa yang Mama telah lalui selama ini, ambil mana yang baik untuk digunapakai dalam kehidupan. Jika Mama pergi dulu dan tak sempat ajar hal-hal begini kepada kalian... bacalah blog mama dengan sepenuh hati. Ambil pengajaran.

Sebelum berkahwin, sangat penting untuk buat perancangan yang jelas dengan pasangan tentang bagaimana semua komitmen ini akan diuruskan. Setiap aspek dalam perkahwinan perlukan persetujuan bersama dan perancangan yang matang, terutama hal-hal yang berkaitan kewangan, tugasan rumah, dan urusan anak-anak. Berikut adalah beberapa perkara yang patut dibincangkan dengan teliti sebelum berkahwin:

Komitmen Kewangan:

Siapa yang akan menanggung perbelanjaan utama seperti bil rumah, kereta, makanan, dan keperluan harian? Adakah perbelanjaan ini akan dibahagi sama rata, atau salah seorang akan lebih bertanggungjawab? Bagaimana pula dengan simpanan jangka panjang, insurans, dan pelaburan? Ini penting supaya tidak ada konflik tentang siapa yang harus menanggung beban kewangan.

Kerjaya dan Waktu Kerja:

Adakah kedua-dua pihak akan bekerja sepenuh masa atau salah seorang akan fokus kepada keluarga? Bagaimana waktu kerja yang panjang atau tidak menentu boleh memberi kesan kepada perkahwinan dan anak-anak? Diskusikan juga tentang sokongan yang diperlukan jika salah seorang perlu lebih fokus pada kerjaya pada suatu ketika.

Tugasan Rumah:

Siapa yang akan bertanggungjawab atas tugasan rumah seperti memasak, membersih, mencuci baju, dan sebagainya? Jika kedua-dua pihak bekerja, tugasan rumah perlu dibahagi dengan adil agar tidak menjadi beban kepada satu pihak sahaja. Atau mungkin mempertimbangkan pembantu rumah jika perlu.

Urusan Anak-Anak:

Bagaimana jika anak-anak hadir? Adakah kedua-dua pihak bersedia dari segi masa, tenaga, dan emosi? Diskusikan bagaimana membesarkan anak, dari segi disiplin, pendidikan, dan penglibatan ibu bapa. Perlu juga berbincang siapa yang akan lebih banyak meluangkan masa dengan anak-anak dan bagaimana jadual itu boleh diuruskan.

Nafkah dan Kewajipan Agama:

Bagi yang beragama Islam, isu nafkah adalah satu tanggungjawab besar suami. Diskusikan dengan jelas apa yang suami akan sediakan sebagai nafkah untuk isteri dan anak-anak, termasuk nafkah zahir dan batin. Jangan lupa untuk berbincang juga tentang amalan beragama, seperti solat bersama, didikan agama anak-anak, dan sebagainya.

Cita-cita dan Harapan Masa Depan:

Apakah visi bersama untuk masa depan? Adakah kedua-dua pihak sehaluan dalam cita-cita dan impian hidup, seperti tempat tinggal, kehidupan kerjaya, percutian, atau perancangan persaraan?

Perbincangan awal ini dapat membantu mengelakkan rasa kecewa di kemudian hari apabila harapan tidak sejajar dengan realiti. Yang paling penting, sentiasa ingat bahawa perkahwinan adalah perkongsian hidup di mana kedua-dua pihak perlu memberi dan menerima, memahami dan bertolak ansur, serta bekerjasama untuk mencapai kesejahteraan bersama.

Little Do You Know: The Hidden Struggles Behind Love

One of my favorite songs. Listening to this song makes me thinking that sometimes, love is not enough. When I reflect on my past relationship, I realize how much love I had for someone who, despite his good heart, wasn't the right match for me at that time. Little did he know that behind my smile, I was struggling with internal battles—about our future, our differences, and most importantly, myself. Just like the lyrics in Alex & Sierra’s song, both of us were trying to make things work while quietly enduring our own pain.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from that relationship is that love requires more than just emotion. It demands honesty, communication, and the willingness to grow together. My ex-boyfriend and I, we loved deeply, but we didn’t guide each other towards growth. In my case, I didn’t speak up about my fears, my confusion, or my doubts. I thought love alone could fix everything, but as time went on, I learned that real love isn’t just about holding on. It’s about being brave enough to let go when things aren’t right.

I stayed quiet about my struggles, just like in "Little Do You Know". I pushed him away when I felt overwhelmed and came back when the love pulled me in again. But that constant push and pull exhausted both of us. And while we tried our best, I wasn’t being true to myself. I was selfish in ways I didn’t realize then. I wasn’t ready to face the reality that sometimes, even the deepest love isn’t enough when two people aren’t aligned in their paths.

This is what I want to tell all the girls out there. It’s okay to love, but it’s also okay to admit when love isn’t right. Don’t hide your struggles like I did, thinking things will magically get better. Relationships need honesty, not just with your partner, but with yourself. And when the time comes to make a difficult decision, know that letting go doesn’t mean you didn’t love enough. Sometimes, it means you loved yourself enough to choose what’s best for your future.