Who says doctors don't get sick?

Being a doctor does not make us immune to illness. Like everyone else, I am a human and not exempt from life's challenges, including sickness. In just a few days, I will be undergoing major surgery for my health issue. This experience has given me time to reflect on my life, my relationships, and the impact I’ve had on the people around me.

I want to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone in my life who may have felt hurt, disappointed, or angry because of me. Please know that it was never my intention to cause any pain. As I head into surgery, I pray that there are no complications and that everything goes smoothly. InshaAllah, I hope to come out of this even stronger, so I can continue to fulfill my roles as a mother, wife, daughter, sister and doctor with all my heart.

To my Dearest Husband,

As I prepare to undergo surgery, I want you to know how deeply I love and appreciate you. You have been my rock, my partner, and my greatest source of strength. You’ve stood by me through every challenge, and your love has always been a light in my life, especially when I needed it most. If anything should happen, please know that you have filled my life with happiness, and I am forever grateful for the memories we’ve created together. But, InshaAllah, everything will go well, and I will come back to you, stronger than before. I am looking forward to more years together, building our family and growing old by each other's side. Thank you for being the wonderful husband and father that you are. I love you more than words can express.

To My Dearest Mirza, Mifzal, and Marissa,

You are the greatest treasures of my life. My love for each of you is beyond what words can ever describe. I love you all more than I love myself, and I would do anything to ensure your happiness and well-being. As I go into surgery, I want you to know that I will always be with you, no matter what happens. InshaAllah, I will come out of this surgery healthy, so I can continue to watch you grow, achieve your dreams, and one day have families of your own. My hope is to be there to witness every beautiful moment of your lives, and I want you to know how proud I am of each of you. Please always take care of each other, and love each other unconditionally. You are each other’s strongest allies, and nothing in this world is more important than family.

To My Dearest Parents,

There are no words that can fully express how grateful I am for everything you’ve done for me. You raised me with love, patience, and wisdom, and I am who I am today because of you. As I face this surgery, I reflect on all the lessons you’ve taught me and the sacrifices you’ve made. I carry those lessons with me every day. If anything happens, please know that I have lived a full and happy life, thanks to you both. InshaAllah, I will come out of this stronger, so I can continue to make you proud and repay the love you’ve given me. Thank you for being my guiding lights.

To My Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Growing up with you has been one of the greatest joys of my life. You have been my first friends, my protectors, and my lifelong companions. As I go into surgery, I want to remind you how much I love each of you. InshaAllah, I will come out of this healthy and strong, but if anything happens, know that my love for you will never fade. Take care of one another and continue to share the bond that we have built over the years. I am so grateful to have you as my siblings, and I will always cherish the moments we’ve shared. Thank you for your love and support throughout my life.

As I prepare for this surgery, I am filled with hope and faith. Life is full of uncertainties, but I choose to focus on the love and blessings that surround me. This journey has reminded me that even in difficult times, we must remain strong and trust in Allah's plan.

To everyone reading this, please keep me in your prayers. I believe that with strength, faith, and the support of my loved ones, I will overcome this challenge and continue living the life that I cherish so much. No matter what happens, I am grateful for every moment I have been given. And I look forward to waking up to the smiles of my children, the warmth of my husband's embrace, and the continued support of my family and friends. InshaAllah, I will be back, stronger and more determined than ever to face whatever comes next.

With love and gratitude,

Keyra Halim

Fate and Love: A Reflection on My Journey

A good friend once told me that our destiny, including our life partner, was written by Allah 50,000 years ago. I’m not sure if this is accurate, but it’s something I’ve pondered. During my housemanship, I worked as a junior doctor at a hospital in Perlis. At that time, I thought that once I completed my housemanship, I might try to win back my ex-boyfriend and take things seriously since the most stressful phase of my career would soon be over.

Even though we had broken up, I hadn’t moved on completely because he was my first love, ever since high school. Despite meeting a few male friends after our breakup, none felt serious enough because, in my heart, I still believed we were meant to be. During my housemanship, I became close with two younger male doctors, but they were actually a couple. Both of them were gay, so there was no romantic connection for me. To be honest, I’ve always had more male friends than female ones.

There were even a couple of colleagues who proposed marriage, but I turned them down. The housemanship years were incredibly exhausting—by 5 a.m., I had to be at the hospital, and I wouldn’t get home until late at night. During the 'tagging' period, I wouldn’t return home until 10 or 11 p.m., and the next day, I had to be back by 5 a.m. It was relentless.

There was one particular day, during my paediatric rotation, when I felt incredibly overwhelmed. I was only a few months away from finishing my housemanship, but the stress was mounting. In a moment of weakness, I called my ex-boyfriend. It was late 2013, and I remember feeling desperate to reconcile. But he rejected me. I cried, begging him to take me back, but it was useless. I realized then that he had moved on, likely finding someone else.

I felt heartbroken—overwhelmed by both work stress and the pain of rejection. I cried all day, not knowing how to surrender to fate or accept it. A few months later, I reached out to him again on Skype. Can you guess what happened? He told me he was getting married and sent me his wedding invitation card. My heart shattered into a million pieces, and I cried like never before. But, being my stubborn, prideful self, I acted as though everything was fine. I responded casually, pretending that I wasn’t hurting inside.

That was Shakirah—stubborn and proud to a fault. But that was my younger self. Eventually, I came to terms with the situation and accepted my fate.

As for how I met my husband, well, it was quite unexpected. He was a university friend of my brother’s, and one day, during Hari Raya, he visited my house with his parents. His mother took a liking to me, and that’s how our relationship began. They proposed soon after. Initially, I accepted the proposal partly out of a sense of vengeance and hurt—still angry that my ex had moved on and married before me. If I recall correctly, they visited during Raya in July 2014, and we got married in October 2014. Things moved quickly. Funny, isn’t it?

Bersedia Sebelum Bersama

Saya nak cerita pula bagaimana dari kekecewaan, saya boleh bertemu dengan suami saya. Tapi ini, next next post ok? To my children, blog ni khas utk korang bertiga. Mama tak perlukan orang lain untuk membaca. Tapi ni semua kisah hidup Mama yang boleh kalian tahu dan ambil sebagai pedoman. Mama yakin, kesilapan akan jadikan pedoman hidup paling bagus dan apa yang Mama telah lalui selama ini, ambil mana yang baik untuk digunapakai dalam kehidupan. Jika Mama pergi dulu dan tak sempat ajar hal-hal begini kepada kalian... bacalah blog mama dengan sepenuh hati. Ambil pengajaran.

Sebelum berkahwin, sangat penting untuk buat perancangan yang jelas dengan pasangan tentang bagaimana semua komitmen ini akan diuruskan. Setiap aspek dalam perkahwinan perlukan persetujuan bersama dan perancangan yang matang, terutama hal-hal yang berkaitan kewangan, tugasan rumah, dan urusan anak-anak. Berikut adalah beberapa perkara yang patut dibincangkan dengan teliti sebelum berkahwin:

Komitmen Kewangan:

Siapa yang akan menanggung perbelanjaan utama seperti bil rumah, kereta, makanan, dan keperluan harian? Adakah perbelanjaan ini akan dibahagi sama rata, atau salah seorang akan lebih bertanggungjawab? Bagaimana pula dengan simpanan jangka panjang, insurans, dan pelaburan? Ini penting supaya tidak ada konflik tentang siapa yang harus menanggung beban kewangan.

Kerjaya dan Waktu Kerja:

Adakah kedua-dua pihak akan bekerja sepenuh masa atau salah seorang akan fokus kepada keluarga? Bagaimana waktu kerja yang panjang atau tidak menentu boleh memberi kesan kepada perkahwinan dan anak-anak? Diskusikan juga tentang sokongan yang diperlukan jika salah seorang perlu lebih fokus pada kerjaya pada suatu ketika.

Tugasan Rumah:

Siapa yang akan bertanggungjawab atas tugasan rumah seperti memasak, membersih, mencuci baju, dan sebagainya? Jika kedua-dua pihak bekerja, tugasan rumah perlu dibahagi dengan adil agar tidak menjadi beban kepada satu pihak sahaja. Atau mungkin mempertimbangkan pembantu rumah jika perlu.

Urusan Anak-Anak:

Bagaimana jika anak-anak hadir? Adakah kedua-dua pihak bersedia dari segi masa, tenaga, dan emosi? Diskusikan bagaimana membesarkan anak, dari segi disiplin, pendidikan, dan penglibatan ibu bapa. Perlu juga berbincang siapa yang akan lebih banyak meluangkan masa dengan anak-anak dan bagaimana jadual itu boleh diuruskan.

Nafkah dan Kewajipan Agama:

Bagi yang beragama Islam, isu nafkah adalah satu tanggungjawab besar suami. Diskusikan dengan jelas apa yang suami akan sediakan sebagai nafkah untuk isteri dan anak-anak, termasuk nafkah zahir dan batin. Jangan lupa untuk berbincang juga tentang amalan beragama, seperti solat bersama, didikan agama anak-anak, dan sebagainya.

Cita-cita dan Harapan Masa Depan:

Apakah visi bersama untuk masa depan? Adakah kedua-dua pihak sehaluan dalam cita-cita dan impian hidup, seperti tempat tinggal, kehidupan kerjaya, percutian, atau perancangan persaraan?

Perbincangan awal ini dapat membantu mengelakkan rasa kecewa di kemudian hari apabila harapan tidak sejajar dengan realiti. Yang paling penting, sentiasa ingat bahawa perkahwinan adalah perkongsian hidup di mana kedua-dua pihak perlu memberi dan menerima, memahami dan bertolak ansur, serta bekerjasama untuk mencapai kesejahteraan bersama.

Little Do You Know: The Hidden Struggles Behind Love

One of my favorite songs. Listening to this song makes me thinking that sometimes, love is not enough. When I reflect on my past relationship, I realize how much love I had for someone who, despite his good heart, wasn't the right match for me at that time. Little did he know that behind my smile, I was struggling with internal battles—about our future, our differences, and most importantly, myself. Just like the lyrics in Alex & Sierra’s song, both of us were trying to make things work while quietly enduring our own pain.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from that relationship is that love requires more than just emotion. It demands honesty, communication, and the willingness to grow together. My ex-boyfriend and I, we loved deeply, but we didn’t guide each other towards growth. In my case, I didn’t speak up about my fears, my confusion, or my doubts. I thought love alone could fix everything, but as time went on, I learned that real love isn’t just about holding on. It’s about being brave enough to let go when things aren’t right.

I stayed quiet about my struggles, just like in "Little Do You Know". I pushed him away when I felt overwhelmed and came back when the love pulled me in again. But that constant push and pull exhausted both of us. And while we tried our best, I wasn’t being true to myself. I was selfish in ways I didn’t realize then. I wasn’t ready to face the reality that sometimes, even the deepest love isn’t enough when two people aren’t aligned in their paths.

This is what I want to tell all the girls out there. It’s okay to love, but it’s also okay to admit when love isn’t right. Don’t hide your struggles like I did, thinking things will magically get better. Relationships need honesty, not just with your partner, but with yourself. And when the time comes to make a difficult decision, know that letting go doesn’t mean you didn’t love enough. Sometimes, it means you loved yourself enough to choose what’s best for your future.

“I’m Sorry, But We Found a Tumor”?

What Would You Do if a Doctor Told You, “I’m Sorry, But We Found a Tumor”?

No one ever expects to hear the words, “I’m sorry, but we found a tumor.” It’s one of those moments that stops time. You sit there, trying to process the gravity of the situation, your heart racing, and your mind racing even faster. How do you react? What do you do next? These are questions no one wants to face, but unfortunately, they are a reality for many.

So, what would you do if a doctor told you, “I’ve found a tumor, and we need to run further tests to determine if it’s benign or malignant”?

1. Take a Deep Breath

The first thing you need to do is breathe. In moments like this, your emotions will naturally take over, and that’s okay. But before letting fear or panic consume you, take a moment to ground yourself. Deep breathing helps your mind clear so you can think more rationally.

2. Ask Questions

Knowledge is power, and when it comes to your health, understanding your situation is crucial. Don’t be afraid to ask the doctor for more details about the tumor. How big is it? Where is it located? What do the next steps look like? Are there risks with the tests? When will you know the results?

The more information you gather, the more prepared you will feel to face whatever comes next.

3. Trust the Process but Be Proactive

It’s easy to feel powerless in these situations, but remember that medical professionals are trained to handle cases like yours. Trust that your doctor will guide you through the next steps. At the same time, be proactive. Ask about the possible outcomes and treatments available for both benign and malignant tumors. Inquire if you should seek a second opinion or additional tests. Being informed will help you stay mentally strong.

4. Lean on Your Support System

You don’t have to go through this alone. Now is the time to rely on your family, friends, or anyone who can offer support. Share what you’re going through with those closest to you. Sometimes, having someone listen, hug you, or even distract you from your worries can make all the difference. Don’t bottle up your emotions.

5. Manage Your Emotions, But Allow Yourself to Feel

Hearing that you might have a serious health condition can stir up a whirlwind of emotions—fear, sadness, confusion, anger. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed. While it’s essential to stay composed, don’t suppress what you’re feeling. Cry if you need to, talk about your fears, or journal your thoughts. Processing your emotions will help you find strength to keep going.

6. Have Faith and Write It Out

If you have a spiritual or religious belief, now is the time to lean on it. In moments like this, many find comfort in their faith, knowing that they are not alone. Trust that there is a higher power watching over you, and whatever the outcome, you will have the strength to handle it.

Sometimes, writing can also be a great release. Even if nobody is following your blog or social media, it can be a powerful tool for processing your emotions. Putting your fears, hopes, and thoughts into words helps you organize the chaos in your mind. It’s not about having an audience. it’s about giving yourself a voice. You’ll be surprised at how healing it can be to simply write it all out.

7. Prepare for the Results

Waiting for the results of your tests can feel like an eternity. It’s one of the most difficult parts of the process because you are caught in limbo between knowing and not knowing. During this time, it’s essential to maintain a sense of normalcy. Keep yourself occupied, focus on the things you enjoy, and remind yourself that you can’t control the outcome—but you can control how you face it.

Being told that you might have a tumor is not something anyone is prepared for, but facing uncertainty is part of life. No matter the outcome, remember that you are not alone. Surround yourself with love, seek answers, and trust that you will find the strength to face whatever lies ahead. You don’t have to be fearless, but you do have to be resilient. And through resilience, you will find the courage to keep moving forward.

#cancerfighter