After undergo 4 years of grueling study, I have another challenge to face- a demanding 2 years of clinical where I rely on lots of coffee, cope with very little sleep, and put up with public chastisement. This is when we rotate through the various general divisions of medicine like surgery, internal medicine and pediatrics and actually work in the hospitals. This is when the fun begins and fresh medical students with zero clinical experience are tossed head-first out of the classroom into the hospital workplace. You might think that after four years of medical school, I would know a thing or two. BUT NO. After I hurtle through the air and land in the hospital, I immediately and ruthlessly punched in the face with the grim reality that I know nothing about taking care of patients.
I started my first clinical rotation in surgery. Before this, I was strongly considering a surgical career. Working with my hands, using cool surgical instruments... all of that sounded very appealing in theory. But less than a week into surgery rotation, I was already miserable. I got lots of problems over the first 3 weeks and I strongly believe that adaptation is the hardest part of everything. Posting in some disciplines required me to be in by 0500 and home after evening rounds. The long, long hours. I'd feel extremely tired, and feel the world's unfair but, the experience gained is beyond words. Sometimes, I don't understand some of the terms used by them and it leads to miscommunication amongst us. Its getting worst when the problem between these two countries is raised. With the barriers and the mindset, I desperately needed extra blade to get right in front of them, with their arms wide open to welcome me in this hospital.
In week 4, I started to get closer to the nurses and some of them even called me as "Mano'. Some of them taught me how to stitch the surgical or traumatic wound, do the circumcision and minor surgery. I also spent several days scrubbing into the OR and watching surgeries all day. Most cases were herniotomy, hernioplasty, appendectomy, amputation, open reduction Internal fixation, and minor surgery but there were a couple crazy cases, like laparatomy and laparascopy. For some surgeons, they teach me a lot. They offer me the opportunity to learn complicated procedures and even make extra class to teach me and my friends. Some surgeons prefer to work in very quiet operating rooms and will say maybe 10 words to you in two hours. Others may drill you on anatomy questions and obscure medical trivia, then ridicule you for not knowing the answers. Most of the time the taunts are in joking fashion, since some surgeons assume medical students know absolutely nothing as a baseline and will be happy if you can answer any of their questions. But others may be incredulous that you don't know the answer to even their most simple question, shaming you into going home that night and working extra hard on studying. At the end of each day, I'm always exhausted from being in the OR all day, and having to go home and study is a painful ordeal. Because of that, I have to work harder to get on level with the amount of work needed to be done, amount of skill that is demanded in this field and the amount of core knowledge I need to equip.
I know stress is everywhere. Every profession has its own shitty thing to get over with. At this moment, I know the real life in hospital where I'm now able to carry on working without food or water over 9 hours, come to work with fever and cough, and stand scolding, destructive criticism, kiss ass behavior, racial bias, and finger pointing by the superior. Whatever happens, I should get over it and stand still. These gruelling years will determine whether I have the empathy, discipline and stamina to be a doctor. And yes it is so true that if its glamour, then pick the fashion world. If its fame, go into media industry, if its wealth, be a lawyer. But if its satisfaction of seeing your patient leaving you with a smile and gratitude, then be a doctor, a Good ethical one.
